


When I Look at the Stars

by aneurysmface



Category: Supernatural
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-04-20
Updated: 2012-04-20
Packaged: 2017-11-03 23:50:05
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 980
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/387332
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/aneurysmface/pseuds/aneurysmface
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Gabriel loves cities, they're the best place to find Grade-A assholes to mess with, but he doesn't ever stay in the city for more than a few days.</p>
            </blockquote>





	When I Look at the Stars

**Author's Note:**

> This is set in a universe that I had, at one point, intended to create an entire series around. This is the only piece that's completed in it and I don't know if I'll ever write the rest. One of the main points of this universe, though is that Gabriel survives the events at the hotel and the apocalypse is diverted at the end of season 5 without Sam falling into the Pit thanks to Gabriel's help. Sam heads back to college after everything begins to settle back down to some semblance of normal.

Gabriel likes being in cities. The best place to find assholes who're worthy of Trickster-created deaths is in large cities: New York, Boston, Chicago, LA. He's got a lot of fond memories.

But he doesn't ever stay for more than a week. He could spend an eternity in LA, but a week is his limit. He tells Dean it's because he'd get too carried away and somebody would come track him down just like Sam and Dean managed to do a lifetime ago.

In reality, it's because he misses the stars. He gets antsy after a few days without being able to see them and after a week his entire personality starts to change. He gets more aggressive, more like the pagan he pretended to be for centuries.

He tells Dean the real reason—eventually. They've been hunting together for three years and sleeping together for almost as long by the time he feels secure enough to open up. He'd planned on just telling Dean, but a series of unforeseeable circumstances forces the issue.

They're in Boston when he does it. Dean had gotten a tip from Crowley about a nest of rogue demons and they'd gone to check it out. Unfortunately, it had taken them four days to find the nest, another to scope it out, and finally on the sixth day they made a move on the run-down warehouse by the water.

Dean manages to wind up pinned to a wall by one of the more powerful demons there. Gabriel doesn't think before he acts, he just says a few words in a language no human has ever spoken and suddenly every demon in the building is dead and the power is out in three states.

He doesn't remember leaving the warehouse. Dean tells him later that he had passed out, that Dean had carried him two blocks to the Impala—the windows were blown out from the same energy wave that had taken out the power—and driven four hours north to a shack in the woods.

Dean tells him it's two days later than he thinks it should be. He asks where they are. It's an old safe house of John's. The middle of the mountains, only what's necessary to survive, a cabin meant for short stays. The first thing Gabriel does is snap the glass back into the Impala's windows. Dean promptly smacks him upside the head for wasting his strength. Gabriel just smiles and yawns up at Dean.

“You comin' to bed?” he asks Dean, who's been sitting on the edge of the bed since Gabriel woke up fifteen minutes ago.

Dean doesn't answer right away and that makes Gabriel nervous.

“Dean?” he asks, voice quiet as he pushes himself into something resembling a sitting position.

“What happened back there, Gabriel?”

That's how he knows something serious is happening. Dean rarely uses his full name. Gabriel asked him why once. Dean said that it sounded too “stuffy”. Gabriel had smiled.

“We found the demon nest. One of them tried to hurt you and I reacted recklessly.” Gabriel shrugs, trying to brush it off.

“We've been together for almost three years, Gabe. You've never reacted like that before. Now, what happened?”

Gabriel hesitates. He hasn't told anybody this. Not even Crowley and they've been friends since Eden.

“I...I get...twitchy. When I can't see the stars.”

Dean smirks, “That's it? You need to be able to see the stars?”

“It's not funny, Dean.” He crosses his arms over his knees and pulls them into his chest.

“Sorry.” And he is, Gabriel can hear it, “But if that's all, you should have told me sooner. I'd never have kept you in the city for so long.” He reaches out and puts a hand on top of Gabriel's.

Gabriel wraps his fingers around Dean's and squeezes. Dean pulls Gabriel's hand towards him and presses a kiss to the back.

“I will never let that happen again.” Dean says. Gabriel nods and pulls gently on his hand until the hunter is lying curled around Gabriel.

They lie in silence for a while, the only audible sound is the cricket chirps outside. But Gabriel can hear the cogs clinking and whirring inside Dean's head.

“You think too loudly.” He presses a kiss to Dean's temple and whispers the words against the skin there.

“Sorry. I was just wondering.”

“Wondering what?” Gabriel draws out the vowel in “what”, a small smile on his face.

“Why.” Dean doesn't elaborate, so Gabriel pokes him gently. “Why does it happen? Why do you need to see the stars? Is that normal for angels?”

“For some of us. The longer we're away from Heaven, the more we need it. And I haven't been back in so long that it gets pretty bad. I'm kind of the guinea pig here. Nobody's ever been away as long as I have. They remind me of Heaven.” He pauses, “Do you know why there are constellations?”

“Uh...no?”

“Bored angels, that's why.” Gabriel huffs out a small laugh. “We used to get really bored. There were eons of time where we didn't have anything else to do, so we made stars. It takes a lot of energy to make a star and even more to form a shape. Over the years, they just became part of the sky.”

“So which one is yours?” Dean's fingers are drumming something on Gabriel's arm. It's a habit he slips into when he's trying to stay awake. It occurs to Gabriel that he probably hasn't slept much the past few days.

“Orion.”

“The hunter?” Dean asks around a yawn. Gabriel can see his eyes slide shut. He presses a kiss to Dean's forehead and wraps his arm tighter across his lover's shoulders.

“Yeah, the hunter.”

He snaps the lights off and when he looks out the window, he can see home.

**Author's Note:**

> The title comes from the Switchfoot song "Stars" and is part of the line: "When I look at the stars, the stars, I feel like myself."


End file.
